Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Dilettante Singer Question

Welcome, my rock and roll friends. Van Hammersmith is here once again to share his experience and wisdom. Or experience at least. I admit, there have been many, many time when I have been unwise, and the ensuing adventures always had something to teach me. To tap into my store-house of wisdom/experience, ask me a question at vanhammersmith at the hotmail.com. Follow me on twitter.

Okay, that was the cough syrup talking. Cough-cough. All right, let's see what we're dealing with this week.


Hoi there, Mr Hammersmith!

My friend asked me into a band like half a year ago, and my friend (the singer, a girl) said we would be going to studio next autumn. We had trainings once a week and we practised also at home. Well the singer didn't show up for rehearsals, and believe me, she appeared twice, TWICE to the them during almost six months. It was always a surprising hindrance or possibly she didn't even mention why she was away. She's a pretty good singer and always says she wants to do the thing, but... she talks but doesn't act. And she's the typical "if you don't agree with me, I'm gonna leave" person.

I really enjoy jamming with the other guys in the band, and it is actually funnier than playing with our singer, but they want to stick with her. We always ask her why she was away, but we've never been on her throat shouting at her about the matter. Any thoughts?

Miksu.

Well, hellllllllo, Miksu. Yes I do have thoughts. I have serious thoughts that burn deep down in the furnace of my soul, because I have to talk about one of the chiefs time-wasters and band-breakers out there.

Dilettantes.

Pity the fool who unknowingly forms a band with a dilettante, because they will hold you back from achieving even minimal levels, Miksu dude. A dilettante is described as a person with only superficial knowledge of a subject. I would push the definition further to include people of superficial interest or commitment, which is definitely where I would categorize your Miss Whitney Penelope.

I bet she's a pretty good singer, right? And good looking? I bet all the guys in the band like her, and each of you has at least once fantasized about the band getting huge and you guys hooking up for an amazing, raw, emotional love affair, but things not lasting and eventually recording a critically and commercially exceptional  album that is about your failed relationship and you would get rich and famous and you two would sometimes still hook up for out of this world sex, but in between tours, you would also hook up with an absolute train of supermodels.

It's okay to think those thoughts when you've alone at night, Miksu. It's natural, even healthy for a young man. Just don't do it too much or you'll turn into a werewolf.

Anybody here old enough to get that joke? No? Back in the olden days people used to warn teenagers not to jerk off, because it will make you turn into a werewolf, as if that would be some kind of a deterrent. I don't think anyone actually believed it, but parents told their kids that because they were sick of finding come in the laundry basket.

Anyway, I think I may have gotten side-tracked, but what I mean to say is that Miss Missy Prinsissy might be a good singer and maybe you think the band will "go somewhere" with her as its frontie. But that's never going to happen with her, because she is not prioritizing the band. If she would rather do just about anything else than go to scheduled rehearsals, then there's not much chance you'll ever get her to commit the time necessary to actually break through in any way, even on the most minor local level. She will drag you down.

If you are serious about "making it," then this band is not for you. On the other hand, it seems like you have a good thing going with these guys. If you're playing for the fun of being in a band and making music every week, stick with them. Maybe over time they'll listen to your arguments about replacing your part-time lead singer.

Think about this, too. The band can gradually form an identity separate from her. You guys could become like Crazy Horse, sometimes playing by yourselves and sometimes playing with her. Crazy Horse! I don't think I've ever mentioned Crazy Horse in one of these before.

For all the good little boys and girls, beware forming a band with a person whose passion is not on the same level with yours. Maybe a player or singer will say they're into a project when they're really not, or maybe they will be passionate but flakey. Either way, recognize these individuals and make the determination if they are going to hold you back. Then decide if it's time to start firing your friends.

Oh yeah, baby. Keep the questions coming to VanHammersmith over at homail.com, and be sure to like me on facebook like some of viral marketing whore.

 

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